The week the internet ate itself. Again. Documented for posterity.
police stopped a van for driving erratically outside oslo. inside were tens of thousands of stolen american silver coins. a second van pulled up minutes later carrying the rest.
apple held an event called surprise and shine. while everyone looked at the foldable, the phones it did not announce quietly went up a hundred dollars each, with no press release and no explanation on any page.
I was sent to zürich to file five hundred clean words about an institutional relocation. what follows is my ninth attempt.
two men took two trailers of guinness out of an industrial park near liverpool. we have worked through their options. we regret to inform them that they are now in hospitality.
a detective sergeant's statement on a £115,000 guinness theft is two sentences. the first is a pun. the second is not. there was never a version of this press release without the pun in it.