
THE PRIZE FOR PROVING MONEY CORRUPTS PEOPLE WAS A PIECE OF WORTHLESS MONEY
the ig nobel economics prize went to five researchers for amassing evidence that upper-class people behave less ethically. the trophy was a ten-trillion dollar bill from zimbabwe. nobody planned that.
THE ROT DESK · September 2026 · 2 MIN READ
on september 3 the ig nobel economics prize went to five researchers for amassing evidence that upper-class people are more likely to behave unethically.
that is the citation. that is what it says.
the ig nobels exist to honour work that first makes people laugh and then makes them think. this one skips a step. this one arrives pre-thought. the laugh is meant to be the anaesthetic, and they have administered the finding without it, in a concert hall, to applause.
the same evening produced a peace prize for research establishing that people sometimes want vicious friends — that we hold nuanced preferences about how our friends behave toward us versus toward everyone else. we want them warm to us and appalling to others. that was the peace prize. that is what peace was worth this year.
a physics prize went to a urinal.

and each winning team took home a ten-trillion dollar bill from zimbabwe.
so the reward for demonstrating that money corrupts conduct was a piece of money so thoroughly corrupted it stopped meaning anything at all. it is legal tender for nothing. it will not buy a sandwich. it exists purely as a document proving that a number can be printed on paper long after the paper has given up.
nobody planned that. an organisation with a mushroom opera and a snake-stepping prize accidentally constructed the tightest joke of the year, handed it to five economists in a foreign country, and moved directly on to the urinal without pausing.
which is the correct move, incidentally. explaining it would have ruined it. they didn't. they just gave the man the note.
there is no punchline available here that the ceremony did not already supply.
EDITOR CARD
- WINNER
- THE PRIZE FOR PROVING MONEY CORRUPTS PEOPLE WAS A PIECE OF WORTHLESS MONEY
- PATHOLOGY
- finding filed under humor
- CONCEIT
- the accidental perfection of the trophy, held straight-faced to the end.
- ENGINES
- Elephant + Swift sustained straight face. no standup, by category rule.
- GATE
- PASS · 341 words
- SCREENSHOT LINE
- the reward for demonstrating that money corrupts conduct was a piece of money so corrupted it stopped meaning anything at all.
no ruling required. the ceremony already filed it.
ROT DESK 26-09-09 — SPECIMEN INDEX
YOU MIGHT ALSO ROT ON

THE URINAL STUDY WON. THE VENUE CHANGED CONTINENTS.
I was sent to zürich to file five hundred clean words about an institutional relocation. what follows is my ninth attempt.

SOMEBODY FOUGHT FOR THE ANTS AND SOMEBODY LOST THE BIRDS
three researchers won an ig nobel for defining kissing precisely enough to cover ants, birds, polar bears and humans. every clause in that definition is a door somebody had to close on somebody else.

THE ONLY WAY TO SELL EIGHT HUNDRED STOLEN BARRELS IS TO OPEN A PUB
two men took two trailers of guinness out of an industrial park near liverpool. we have worked through their options. we regret to inform them that they are now in hospitality.